It would seem only right that today’s blog is about Mother’s day. Mothers. The glue that binds everything together. When I thought about Mother’s day, I thought…oh joy. I might get some toast brought up to me in bed or perhaps a ten minute lie in. I think both of those are unlikely and what I then realised; was that, maybe tomorrow wasn’t just about me. Mother’s Day is also about my own Mother, my Mother in law and my Nan too. We are all Mothers.
So what can I tell you about my Mother. Well, she is, without doubt, one of the kindest and most caring people I know. If I was in need or upset, I know that she would drop everything to be by my side, the same as when I was a little girl and I love that about her. Her most endearing quality is her sense of humour. She’s one of the funniest people I know and she loves to make people laugh. Happiness and laughter feed the soul and I know I have definitely inherited my mum’s sense of humour and positive approach to life.
As we get a little older, wiser and become parents ourselves, we should take a moment to reflect on the challenges our parents faced during our childhood years. When I used to complain about how hard it was to raise babies, my mum would say, “you girls have it so easy these days. At least you have disposable nappies!”. My mum talks of how she would wash terry towelling nappies by hand then pray for the radiators to be working so she could get them dry before she needed them again. No tumble dryer in sight. Along with no disposable nappies, there was no breast feeding support groups, no musical bumps classes, let alone baby yoga. When she reminds me of these things, it makes me appreciate how much she did for us and perhaps why it might have seemed impossible for her to juggle an office job and three young children – even if she wanted to.
Whilst chatting to my mum earlier this week over coffee, I mentioned the blog was doing well. This went straight over her head. She said she knew what I meant by the term ‘Guilty Mother’ but she also said “well, I don’t feel like a guilty mother and I never have”. After a short pause, I responded by telling her that it was great if she felt that way. I went on to explain why many of us have feelings of guilt throughout motherhood. She said that because she was a stay at home mum, she never felt guilty. But help me out ladies, even some of my friends who are also stay at home mums; don’t we often still feel guilty about different things? I respect my mum for being honest with me, but was she being honest?
We then went on to discuss what we would do for mothers’ day. She sounded slightly fraught as she had arranged for my nieces to come and stay overnight. I told her not to worry as I had made provisional plans to spend the day with my mother in law. I could see my mum was relieved. She mentioned that she had wanted to have us for Sunday lunch but twelve people would have been too much. I could see her mind was wandering with thoughts of how to please everyone. I told her not to fret. She then replied ‘Oh thank goodness. I was feeling terribly guilty that you might be upset if we didn’t invite you all to lunch”. I responded by saying “oh…did you say you felt…what was the word…guilty…mum?”. We both fell about laughing. My mother giggled and commented ‘Oh no! Maybe I am a guilty Mother after all!”