What plans do you have for Valentine’s Day next week?
On the international day of romance, I have none. As I walk past the numerous card shops in the town, I roll my eyes. The window display is awash with red hearts and teddy bears. I can hardly bare it (excuse the pun). When I told this to my friend, she told me "you're so unromantic". I responded trying hard to defend myself and said that it was my husband who was unromantic but she disagreed. "It's not him. It's you". Oh dear...this felt like one of those, it's not me, it's you type of conversations.
I'm not sure how or when I got so unromantic. Although, on reflection, I think it's partly because I used to write tons of love letters to the boy next door when I was twelve and he never wrote back - not once. Tragic. Then there was the creepy guy who came to the place was working in Tunbridge Wells when I was seventeen to earn some extra cash. He delivered a bunch of roses to my colleague for me as I was busy serving a customer. He then telephoned me from the red phone box outside to tell me he dropped off some flowers and that he had been 'watching me' all morning. On some parts, I suppose he was trying to be romantic but the 'watching' part was just unsettling and I found myself looking over my shoulder as I walked home most nights. Jesus, I had a stalker. After all of that, perhaps I had just become mentally scarred.
February 14th now just feels like it's forced upon me. It's the same feeling you used to get as when a friend forced you to drink that last flaming sambuca even though you knew you would regret it.
If you're single, I know Valentine's Day can feel abit rubbish, but even as a married woman, I've convinced myself that Valentine's Day is another way for organisations to cash in. To be clear, I have gone to the effort of buying my husband a card (it's from Waitrose and cost me £2.50 - thank you), but in all honesty, Valentine’s Day just feels too much like hard work. Perhaps I really have lost my va va voom after all.
I know I should be incredibly grateful. If Valentines day is about love, then I have plenty around me. I have a lovely husband, two gorgeous kids, friends and family who all love me – and in truth, that feels like enough. Sure, I would be delighted if my husband buys me a gift, but I'm not expecting one as I wasn't planning on buying him anything, which could be awkward.
Perhaps it's because I just want my husband to show me that he always cares about me. Not just on February 14th. That he's always there to put an arm around me any day of the week when he can see that I need it. So I'm not expecting any grand gestures from my beloved, just a card will suffice.
And for all you single ladies out there, fear not. I was just reading in The Times today about a new, huggable robot pillow who is, apparently, as super soft as Baymax in Disney's film, Big Hero 6. And even better, this huggable robot won't snore or hog the duvet at night. Oh hang on a minute...that's me.
Happy Valentine's Day all.